I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
