there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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