We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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