i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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