angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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