so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
