Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
