All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize