I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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