I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
