I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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