Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize