All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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