My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
