Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
