This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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