butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
