im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
