I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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