Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
