remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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