They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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