i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
