Barsexuality is the new black.
My balls are so social today.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
