He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His nipple licking is glorious
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