When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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