I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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