I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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