The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
