i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
