Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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