I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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