Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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