u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
