I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
