this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
