Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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