I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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