Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
