I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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