So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
