i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize