It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
