She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
