What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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