Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
