im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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