R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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