I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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