What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
