If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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