ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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