it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
