We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
