..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
